these are my words..screaming to get out..

darLIEing
searching for more than just the answer
believing more then just a kiss
you're heads filled up with bleeding wounder
while your soul hangs on the crucifix

i'll be here to search no further
your shadow lingers on the floor
a kiss of death, a silent whisper
body lifeless by the door

even with , every touch
your soul belongs to me
even with, every word
your soul belongs to me

my darling ,  you forget the debt you owe
dar-lie-ing you have seemed, to find yourself in some misfortune
my darling, you forget death is always slow

even with, every scream
your soul belongs to me
even with , every dream
your soul belongs to me

beggars cant be choosers
like the blind cant discover
but if seeing is believing
then we are all left to wounder

creeping torsos have the answer
limber limbs will find the cure
a kiss of death, a silent whisper
all i need, to inject the fear

tell me now, who's the cannibal
tell me now, who's to blame
your wish i had granted
your soul you signed away

a lovely suicide
trend
i am here to claim
there's no way for you to
win
when you play my game

even with , every fuck
your soul belongs to me
even with, every love
your soul belongs to me

my darling ,  you forget the debt you owe
dar-lie-ing you have seemed, to find yourself in some misfortune
my darling, you forget death is always slow

even with, every kiss
your soul belongs to me
even with , every lie
your soul belongs to me

fully compressed to the maximum decompostion.

your words fall onto me like the rain falls upon the earth.

i watch as they dance across the sky and through my mind.

twisting amongst my bones and through my blood.

i can taste the bitter-sweetness of your lies.

there is no denying it...the  truth is hiding in your eyes.

a walk with myself.

Current mood:  exhausted
Category: Travel and Places

maybe we shouldn't be out so late
the weather gets cold in these northern states
relate, to me what you think about this
if it wasn't for hell,heaven wouldn't exist.

Now, i've seen so many times
the lies, the cries of a heart when it dies.
but depending on how deep it goes
the truth, the pain ,nobody really ever knows
don't question me about these rules
when you're playing a game that was made for fools
you'll learn to use your head,Instead
of finding reasons to believe in me
while logic starts to construe
all the possiblities inside of you

ain't nothing ever tasted so sweet
when you find your lovin' and you feel so complete
finally,you realized what you might have missed
if it wasn't for hell,heaven wouldn't exist.

id like to sit here and relax a bit..guide my words only using my finger tips...my verbal embrace makes things so awkward
its hard to ignore , my mind is having a mental blizzard.
 let our bodies mold into the comfort of our being.dissolving our anger..there is no better feeling. lifeless and crippled there they appear.finnaly its over, and we won't shead another tear.
"is it true" she asked, you could see every ounce of hope glisten in her eyes, but hear every breath of sadness tremble past her lips.

"there are times when i look at my reflection.i see who i once was..what i could have been and what i'll never be. but there is never a who i am."

I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit.
Category: Life

a chemical warfare is exploding inside my head
if only i could relase these toxins,
upon my annihilation
my vigilance had expired.
everything seems so spoiled, drenched in decay.
a double shot of rotten perception ,shaken..never stirred on the rocks of infamy.
i want so badly to shead this skin. peal away all the bullshit i consumed. nasty lil' scabs of treason.
but for now..i'd settle for a snickers ice cream bar. *hmph*

im okay with being crazy, at least for now..because i know no one can save me

restless thoughts have got me up again
there is no use lieing..or trying to pretend.
they've got me in a choke hold
their images screaming in my face.
my soul is sold
left to die...fighting to leave this place.

my shoes are always worn clothes are always dirty
i always take the path less traveled .
and they always say im crazy.

crazy for never knowing
crazy for not having a clue
crazy for not really caring?
or crazy for being two

so im okay with being crazy...at least for now
because i know no one can save me.
and i'll keep talking to myself and contiune to not make any sense at all
just me and myself ..untill another journey calls.
and the paths always seem longer and more overgrown than the last..
and i'll continue to walk these and never look back at my past.

im not broken..but you can still see the cracks

and you know i don't belong here

this is only a test
Current mood:holyshitimtiredwhthell

dont wrap my brain up in uncertinty
Things dont have to be so complex
Relax your thoughts upon your pillow
fall into your dreams

think about the things you  need
the things you want will come you'll see
untill things fail its all alright
between you and me

 

maxxed

restless eyes glazed over in a resin glow
fiery iridescent amber sparks
play against my bowl

downward spiral......

my thoughts lay lifeless
like a twisted torso upon the floor
my words spill like vomit
blending in to the bile and blood
making for the most exquisite stench of impurity
waiting for an exhale
i need release from the inside
but the toxins that i breath in
are what make me feel so right.
making my fears seem almost comical and daydream like.
like i could pick them out like pages in a coloring book.
smelling all the different colors. tasting all the different shades.
i could laugh for hours at my own inhibitions. only in a medicated mind.
organic mind♦ organic mind ♦organic mind ♦organic mindHerbal smiles

picking myself back up the pieces don't always fit
what may not make sense today
will be okay tomorrow
and what doesnt make sense tomorrow
will be okay today.


Curious
is this an intoxicating emotion? a wretched stench of infatuation?
concealed inside a vial chamber, impure thoughts, repulsive urges.
a sickness??
Does the fear out weigh the curious? a crooked wall of anxiety and awkward conduct.impervious to speech and a relaxed demeanor. a prisoner of my own emotions.waiting patiently for my self perseverance of release.

Honest smile or manipulating eyes?
mind fucking and overly controlling.

Back to Basics in Arkansas

alot has been goin on here and i should really take the time to get more organized and write alot more..its been MONTHS since i've posted anything. it doesn't surprise me. anyways a quick update about one of the main happenings in my life right now and how FREAKY & DEAD ON i think yahoo horoscopes really is.

i am a capricorn.

Quickie

It's time for a fashion tweak -- a small change here or there to keep things fresh. True i've been itching for a hair cut ...but...we've all seen how i've murdered my bangs..so im tryin to stear clear of any thing sharp and harmful. maybe i'll just stick to a new pair of jeans.

Overview

Your heartstrings are sometimes well protected, but for now, you're pretty much open to all comers. It's a really good time for you to volunteer or to otherwise make your altruistic side more organized.
 hmmmmmmm first part is correct..not sure what to make of the 2nd part.
*Altruism (pronounced: pronounced /ˈæltruːɪzəm/) is selfless concern for the welfare of others.

**Extended Overview**

Public displays of affection just aren't your style Occasionally, a tear or a grin you weren't expecting might slip by you, unnoticed -- by you, that is. The rest of the world pretends not to see, but they're amazed and astounded. The good news is that you're feeling so good right now that you don't care who sees. While you're at it, why not let it all out and get it over with?
ahh this one is a bit confusing but i do understand what its talking about. The beginning could be talking about or referring to the fact that i don't care about what other people think. and a bit of that im an odd ball so not much would surprise those closest to me. im a bit all over the place. so the fact that im dating a girl is really no big deal to me..even tho..no one has ever seen me "with" a female in that way or even heard me mention anything about it. it really feels 2nd nature to me. not foreign at all. but to all those around me. while not saying too much about the "situation" upfront i know they are a bit taken back and maybe even "amazed and astounded" ??? on the side lines..and the good news..is that I AM feeling soo good right now with her that i don't care who see's ...and while im at it..i guess this would be a good time to let my grandma know..that i have a girlfriend. =)